I first want to talk about the election. This election was unlike any other that I have seen in my lifetime. It divided the country unlike anything I have witnessed in my five decades on earth. Not only did it bring racism and prejudice in front of all of us, but it also had a dramatic effect on families and longtime friendships. I am pretty open about my political beliefs but never more than this year was I outright criticized for believing what I believe and voting for whom I voted for. This, despite my public declaration time and time again, that I support everyone's right to choose their candidate. Regardless of the criticism sent my way, I stand by my ideals and appreciate the opportunity this election provided for dialogue. Seek first to understand and then to be understood is a very good lesson in the presidential election of 2016. No matter what side of the political coin any of us are on, I believe that understanding points of view holds the key to uniting us as we go forward. The most positive thing to come of this election, for me, is that I connected with an amazing group of people that are concerned about the issues I am and together we are proactively organizing activities that can have a positive impact. It feels good to do something. And never have I been more motivated to do something than now. For that, I am thankful.
2016 brought losses of iconic figures. A long list of legends that touched our lives in one way or another. These losses saddened many of us. What strikes me, though, is how fortunate we are to feel this loss. Without it, we would have never known the films, the music, the writing, the history, the legends. To feel the loss means that somehow our lives were touched forever and what a blessing that is.
2016 also brought me an inherent drive to focus on my health - physical, spiritual and emotional. For many, many years I focused on all things but me and in this process, I suffered. I was doing a great job of taking care of everyone else but not so much when it came to me. I became isolated. My pattern was work, home, and back to work again. I lost joy. I lost passion. I lost happiness. My dad's passing shook me to the core but it also propelled me in a way that I hadn't been moved in a very long time.
My dad wanted certain things for me and in his passing, I wanted to honor his wishes. So, I set out on a journey to restore my soul. I wanted to fix all the things that were broken in me. This process took some serious self-reflection. The bad personal choices, the toxic people I let into my life, the wall that I built to keep all things positive out, and the smile that I placed on my face to fool the world...all had to go. It's scary to embark on a journey like this but the thing about it is that once you take the first step, and then the second, and then the third...it becomes easier and easier. Every step I took motivated me to take the next. I found empowerment in saying no and setting boundaries. Strength in ridding toxicity from my life. Self-awareness from remembering who I was. And purpose by focusing on the things that nurture my spirit.
I make no apologies for who I am. My mistake for a very long time was in believing that I somehow was not good enough. I am damn good enough. That does not mean I am perfect. I am far from it. I am human and I make mistakes...lots of them. I say snarky things at times. I am a bit stubborn. I get moody. I obsess about things. I am misunderstood and I misunderstand. But my heart is sincere and I've learned to accept myself, flaws and all. This acceptance has brought forgiveness and it has removed guilt. And thus, I have peace in my soul. And that is perhaps the biggest blessing of 2016.
2016 also brought changes in personal as well as professional relationships. This process left me baffled at times. We all have people in our lives that we know shouldn't be there but for whatever reason, we let them linger. We think it will get better. We think we can love them into wholeness. We think that if we remain loyal friends, the loyalty will be returned. I had to learn many lessons about the circle I was surrounding myself with. As I let people go (and as people let me go), what blossomed was truth. There are some people in your life that say they are your champion, but when the going gets too tough, they bail. There are others that are in your life simply for what you can do for them and as soon as you fulfill that purpose, they also bail. This reality hurts. But the pain is more than overcome when the truth surfaces. You see who your true champions are. Those that encourage you on your journey and want you to grow. Those that see beauty in your flaws. Those that will stand in the center of the fire with you and not shrink back. These people surfaced for me this year. Some I knew were there all along but I took for granted. Others came from out of nowhere and fed my soul. And I am thankful for each and every one of you. My journey to be whole continues...but I am so blessed to have people in my life that are moving me forward.
As 2016 comes to a close, I find myself more optimistic than I have been in a long time. I remain focused on my goals and have learned to not let self-doubt deter me. I've learned to turn negativity off and to shut it down before it takes hold. I take lessons as blessings. I am thankful for those in my life who motivate me and those who call me on my crap. Thankful for those that challenge me even if the challenge comes from out of nowhere. Everything does not have to be all wine and roses in order to be great, I am looking forward to 2017 and the things it will bring. As I say goodbye to 2016, I say it with hope, optimism, and humility. I don't have a lot of New Year's resolutions to share other than this....I'm going to continue trying.
Happy New Year everyone!
