Dear Dad

Hard to believe, but it's been one year since you left us.  We've somehow managed to survive the year of the "firsts."  The first birthdays -- yours and ours; the first Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, snowfall, summer and this day.  A year ago I could not fathom how things would change or how we would survive, yet somehow we did.  We've had lots of tears along the way but somewhere through the darkness we found laughter.  Days are not easy but in my heart I know you are with us, watching over and guiding us.

Life is different without you here.  There is a definite emptiness that will never go away, though every day I learn to cope in new ways.  Rather than reflect on the sadness of this day, I wanted to take a few minutes out and let you know what has transpired over the past year...the things that I think would make you most proud.  Things we used to talk about often.  I share them today because I want you to know that I listened...even when you think I didn't.

First, I have made a conscious effort to rid toxicity in my life.  Those people that bring a dark cloud with them...I've eliminated them from my life or I've found a new way to cope with them that doesn't bring me down.  I choose to stay in a positive place and I don't let people steal my joy...not anymore.

I work less hours.  I make a decision every day to stop work at a reasonable hour and just go and enjoy.  Enjoy time with Joey, my animals, the quietness of my house, the company of friends, the beauty of the outdoors.  You always worried about the long hours I was putting in...and finally I have slowed down.  And guess what...the work still gets done!

I've taken control of my health.  This is something you always worried about and wanted me to do and finally I am doing it.

I have learned how to say no and to set boundaries.  You always told me not to let people take advantage of me...and while I never considered myself a pushover, I know I did too much for people and I have finally found the empowerment to say no.

I spend my time on things that truly matter to me.  Not just my work - but other things that have given me a new purpose, such as the Parkinson's organization.  I honor you through doing what I can for this organization and it fills me with joy.

Perhaps the biggest things is this....We spend more time together as family....all of us.   We always did spend time together but the things we've gone through the past year have made us stronger and closer...and I know it makes you happy to see that the bond is stronger than ever.

As I look back through my life, my childhood, teenage years, and adult years, I know that I am blessed because you are my father.  You taught me so much, believed in me, encouraged me and supported me through everything...even when you knew I was making mistakes.  I love you and miss you every single day but I am so very thankful that God gave me you as my dad.

Love you Dad.  Please keep watching over us.